


Together Forever

by Alessgrosskid (thatonegrosskid)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 'dark' harry as in 'chaotic neutral' harry tbh, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death In Dream, Dark Harry Potter, Hogwarts Fourth Year, I had an idea and I ran with it deal with it, M/M, Not Beta Read, OOC Harry, Seer Harry Potter, Sort Of, but only because of constant mental trauma, harry is a wee bit off his nut, he is /very/ goal oriented and basically everything he does is to get to tom, kind of, like sole purpose, might be some other ooc, oh and real tmr/hp doesnt happen for awhile tom just deals with him, remus and severus are so tired of not understanding whats going on with harry, ron and hermione exsist but theyre kind of beta freinds, starts in medias res
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2020-05-16 18:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonegrosskid/pseuds/Alessgrosskid
Summary: Harry has been having these dreams for as long as he could remember, dreams of another life, another world, another him, and in every life he met Tom. In every life they fell in love. In every life he was left alone. Tom dissapeared or died or left him, it didn't matter. Whatever he did, he would be abandoned. And then he woke up. Every day. So when he's brought to the wizarding world, when he realized they weren't just dreams, he knows he cant let Tom go again. He would find him and they would be together forever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a lot happens at once because i started writing and didnt stop until i finished this its not betad and i dotn care thanks have fun

_ “Don’t cry, little lion. Be with me now, till the end.” _

 

Harry Potter woke up in tears. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but it had been awhile. He had gotten used to these dreams, He’d been having them all his life, but sometimes they still managed to get him. He slowed and calmed his breathing, shutting his eyes in an effort to ignore the panic in his chest, those words ringing through his mind as they had for years in his dream.  Wiping away his tears, Harry grabbed the journal from underneath his pillow, soft and wrinkled from age and use and wrote down his latest dream. 

 

_ We were british soldiers. We met in the first world war and fought together. We met in the spring of 1915 and said our first I love yous in the fall, mid battle, had our first time the night after. He told me we would make it through the war and be together forever. We were seperated 3 weeks later as we were sent to different ends of the battle field and he was mortally wounded. I ran to him and held him as he left me.  _

_ I was 19, he was 25. I died 2 years later. _

 

It was a short entry, there wasn't much to say. His life before him didn't matter, his life after was unnecessary. The only thing that mattered was his Tom, the only reason he kept his journals in the first place, stuffed thick with entry upon entry, buckled with spilled ink and tears. 

He sat against his headboard for a long moment, listening to the breathing of his dorm mates. He figured he put up good enough front, but he didn’t care much for the boys in his dorm. He had seen their fates, their flaws, betrayals and some, their deaths. These lives rarely changed, he had found. In most of his dreams he was a wizard, in most of those we went to Hogwarts. Most of the time he was in gryffindor (though he had to ask specifically to be in gryffindor sometimes) and he knew that as a gryffindor he had a role to play. Befriend Ron and Hermione, start a rivalry with Malfoy,  listen to Dumbledore, all so in the end he would fight Tom. His Tom.

Well, that just didn’t sit well with him. To be brought in to the wizarding world as a child, to learn his dreams weren’t just vivid, vivid nightmares, but a sign. That Tom, his Tom, wasn’t just a cruel figment of his imagination, destined to leave him again and again every night, every life. He had decided, he couldn’t just let him go again, never again, not if he could help it. So he made a plan. 

He followed the designs of previous lives, but kept a close watch. In the dress shop, he introduced himself properly to Draco, made a quick friend, then sat with Ron on the train, introducing himself and pretending he hadn’t been in this same cabin on this same day countless times in his mind. In the great hall he sent a small and secret smile to Draco, he would be good to keep around. 

On the stool, he asked politely to be placed in Gryffindor and with only a bit of grumbling and snark, he was placed there. He smiled as the hat yelled out and made his way down to sit. He caught Draco’s eye from across the hall, sitting between Crabbe and Goyle and sent him a small smile, that was returned in kind. He always liked befriending Draco in dreams, he was an interesting character, loyal and sensitive, hiding his conflict and mercurial nature behind his guard of slytherin cool and calm. Ron and Hermione were never that interesting, he found, they often wear their hearts on their sleeves and failed quiet spectacularly at any forms of guarding their emotions or thoughts. They were fine, of course, good friends and had his back and all but. They never did agree with him and Tom’s relationship.

 

He got up from his bed at that, knowing he never fell back asleep after dreaming. He replaced his dream journal and grabbed another from his trunk, silent from years and thousands of dreams of experience. He picked up a small cage from under his bed, the ugly rat inside finally having exhausted itself after screaming helplessly against the silencing charm. He knew what happened this year, how Sirius would be ripped away from him. So he caught Ron's rat at the end of last year, pretended it had run away. The boy had been sad for a few weeks but in the end the rat was more of a burden the anything else anyways. 

He didn't bother showering, he only did so every few days, just dressed and tried to fix his hair a bit before he left. He had potions first on Mondays and he knew Snape was often in his office an hour or two before breakfast to speak with older students who needed extra help. It was only an hour off from breakfast (he knew well that gryffindor boys rarely woke before then) so he made his way down to the dungeons.  

He wasn't exactly on friendly terms with Snape and never made the mistake of trying to be so. He knew the grudge that the man harbored, having lived with it for years before meeting the man. Despite his cruel glares and harsh teaching though, the man had saved him more times than he could count, both in his current life and through his dreams so he couldn’t exactly be mad at the man. This conversation though, would not be easy though (it never was, trying to explain how he knew things he shouldn't), mostly because he wouldn't just need to speak with Snape. 

His walk to Snape's office has him shivering with nervousness, a thing he knew the man hated. While he thought he played his role well, his rough sleep and constant studying and planning made him seem waifish, shivering at the slightest cold and constantly seeming sleep deprived, the late nights and violent awakenings burning dark circles under his eyes. He knocked softly and opened quickly at the rough ‘enter’ through the door. 

“Mr. Potter,  what a delight.” The man’s sarcasm was slightly lacking with less than a mug of coffee in him, but Harry would never dare bring it up, “May I ask why you’ve decided to grace me with your presence before class?”

“I’m sorry to bother you sir,” He tried very hard to be polite, holding the cage behind his back, “But I need to speak with you about a very important matter.”

“Unless Mr. Weasley has yet again been poisoned by his own sorry excuse for a potion, I can’t see what could be so important.” Snape, sat back in his chair watching him.

“It is much more important, I would say, and has to do with Sirius Black.” At this, Snape surged up in his chair, but Harry resisted the urge to shrink back, “But I believe it would be best to have this conversation with Mr. Lupin present.”

“And why exactly would you need him here?” While his voice stayed the same unpleasant grumble, ire burned in his eyes at the very notion. 

“I need you both to be in agreement with the course of action this conversation will lead to and you would both need to believe what I have to say.” He knew very well that Snape would eventually agree, he just had to make him see how important it was, staring into his eyes for just a moment. 

Snape looked at him closely, glare cold, but eventually he saw his eyes soften, in curiosity or affection, he didn't much care to know. Nevertheless, the man turned abruptly and moved into his back office, presumably to floo call Remus. Coming back into the room, he sat back down at his desk, and continued drinking his coffee, simply ignoring Harry until Remus got there. 

It took a long while, Remus’s classroom and quarters a fair distance from the dungeons, even with the secret passages at his disposal. The man looked tired and beaten, like he had been woken from his first few hours of sleep in days and rushed to dress. He knocked politely and came in at Snape’s response, obviously surprised at his sudden summon so far from the full moon, “Severus, what-”

He looked over and saw Harry then, his face melting with affection, then confusion looking between the two of them, “Did something happen?”

“Ask Mr. Potter, he seems fairly sure he has an important matter to talk to us about,” Snape sat back into his chair, keeping himself well in control despite his curiosity. 

Harry took a moment to look at Remus. He had tried not to get too close to him, at least not yet. He knew what he was capable of, he was a great wizard and powerful wolf, or would be if given the chance. But here, pushed down and alone, he was pathetic. Skin and bones and scar tissue filled with chocolate and apologies to little too late. It hurt him too see. He remembered being raised by this man, growing under him and Sirius’ wings, they had saved him so many times. It was only fair he returned the favor, wasn't it?

“Remus, you have to promise not to get too upset, alright?” He waited for Remus to agree, and pulled the cage out from behind him, “Sirius never turned on my parents, Peter did.”

Remus’ confusion lasted only a moment until.he caught a whiff of the cage and saw red, “PETER?” He stood quickly, waking the rat once more and causing it to run circles in its cage, looking desperately for some way to escape the furious werewolf just feet away from it. 

Severus watched them quizzically, “are you trying to tell us Mr. Potter, that this rat is actually Peter Pettigrew and that he betrayed the Potters rather than Sirius and that this never came up in his trial?”

Harry shook his head, “Sirius never had a trial, Professor. He was sent straight to Azkaban.”

At this both of the men's eyes widened. Remus looked at him, “what? Sirius… surely someone would have questioned him or given him veritaserum or-”

“No. When they caught Sirius he was put straight into holding, then to Azkaban.” Harry wished more than anything he hasn't seen the look of despair that passed over Remus’ face just then, “and before you ask, no, Dumbledore didn't do anything.”

Remus stumbled back onto his chair, looking shell shocked, pain and fury and numbness passing through him in quick succession. 

“I may not have liked Black, and I do believe he deserved time in Azkaban for what he did, Remus, 12 years without a trial? That's inhumane.” Severus frowned, watching the cage with a look of pure malice. 

Remus stood, shakily, talking out his want and stupefying the rat, then bringing it out of the cage. He tossed it carelessly to the ground and pointed his wand at it once more. A blue light ran through the room and they watched the ugly old rat become an ugly old man, frozen in terror on the ground. 

Remus allowed a tear to slip down his cheek before his face turned to one of rage, “I should kill you. I should  _ destroy  _ you peter, like you've destroyed countless lives. Harry, James, Lily, Sirius,  _ me _ ... How many others?” He slammed his foot down, pointing his wand into Peter’s face, “Why would you do this? We were your friends!”

Peter stammered to answer, pathetic and sniveling on about him being weak, afraid, forced to betray them, but Remus was having none of it. “Were you forced to stay in your animagus form for TWELVE YEARS while Sirius rotted?” He was about to go on when Severus stood. 

“Lupin, control yourself.” He said simply and walked from behind his desk. “I’ve seen enough from the both of you.” He stupefied Peter once more and pushed Remus to sit. “If you give in and destroy the rat as he so deserves, not only will I be forced to report you to the ministry, but you won't be able to prove Black’s innocence.”

Remus nodded, face falling. “Yes, yes I know.” He wiped his face, “I lost my control for a moment.”

“Understandable as that is, it doesn't help.” Severus turned and forced Peter back into his rat form and into the cage, “If you want to actually be helpful, you will escort Mr. Potter to the great hall for breakfast and compose yourself. I will call the aurors and we will meet back here.” 

While remus wasn’t particularly comfortable taking orders, and it showed, he listened, leading Harry out the door. They walked in relative silence, both looking tired and worn. Just before they reached the great hall though, Remus turned to him, as Harry knew he would. 

“How- How did you know about Peter, Harry?” He asked quietly, looking around the barren hall for any sign of eavesdroppers. 

Harry wished he could tell him, he really did. But that would mean explaining his plans and his dreams and everything that came with them and it just wasn't the right time. Not yet. “I can’t tell you yet, Remus, but I will soon. Just trust me, please.”

“Always, pup.” Remus smiled, but Harry could see the disappointment and curiosity in his eyes. “Well, It’s about time for breakfast, huh? Better head inside.”

 

Breakfast was loud and crowded and he had to listen to Ron prattle endlessly about the dementors around the edge of the castle and all the students and teachers he thought should be in azkaban, a surprising number if you’d never met the kid. It may seem rude, Ron was his friend and all, but after thousands of lifetimes of the same prattling, it gets tiresome. So he excused himself a few minutes early, saying he had to get some work done. Ron looked at him strangely, but Hermione congratulated him, telling him to ask her if he needed any help.

Instead, he slunk to the library to meet with Draco and Luna. Draco had been a valuable friend over the years, he was the first one he told about his dreams who believed him and tried to help and after hearing about his treatment at the Dursleys, had taken it upon himself to sneak him into his manor over holidays. He did his best to help him in his plans to get to Tom and part of that was introducing him to his cousin Luna.

He had met luna in his dreams, the dreamy seer who knew so much more than people gave her credit for. She always looked at him with such sad eyes, seemed to know his troubles before he had the chance to say a word and this Luna was no exception. She met him with teary eyes and an apology for everything he had been through, the loss and pain. She explained his dreams as best she could, that he was a kind of seer, watching himself through timelines and dimensions, and he believed her. She hung around him every chance he could be away from Ron and Hermione, advising him and helping anyway she could.

With his dreams of what came before, Luna's knowledge of the future and Draco's power now, they had been slowly planning and orchestrating as best as they could the day he would be with Tom again. 

 

“The rat is gone,” Harry spoke as he sat at their usual table, tucked away so deep behind the thick shelves even Pince would have a hard time finding them. “Just as it was written.”

“Well, the next part will be easy. I’ve seen the hound on the edge of the forest, watching the castle for days now.” Luna smiled, sitting criss cross and barefoot in her seat. “Now we just need to catch him before the dementors do.”

“How long until they’re cleared out?” He looked to Draco, who was writing quick notes in his own journal.

“With severus on it? No longer than dinner time.” Draco looked up from his journal, “What did you tell Them?”

“Severus didn’t get the chance to ask, but I told Remus I would tell him eventually. And I will.” Harry shrugged, “Any news on Him?”

“Just vague mentions of a temporary host, but father did say we would be preparing for a guest over the summer.” he flipped to a different page, “Have you figured anything out on the bind?”

“Not technically, no. I found that soul bonding book in your fathers study, but I wasn’t able to take it.” Harry grimaced. He was only technically allowed through the Malfoy wards because he was an invited guest, but he couldn't let Narcissa and Lucius know he was there.  He had seen them to many great and terrible things in the name of their family and lord and he didn't want to know whether or not they’d be very accepting of him staying over the holidays. “Luna, have you finished transcribing the spell for next year?”

“Oh, just nearly! I’m stuck on a translation near the bottom, I can't tell whether it reads ‘honorably taken’ or ‘willingly taken’ and I’m not sure if the different will mess up the spell.” She pulled her own journal and showed him the last few pages of her translations, “I’m getting my dad to help, I think a new set of eyes will help get the wrackspurts away.”

“No doubt, Luna, I know you can do it.” Harry laid his head in his hands and close his eyes, allowing himself a moment of rest after a fairly stressful morning. He always hated having to do things himself, he much preferred putting things in motion from behind the scenes. He knows Tom is much the same, not afraid to get his hands dirty, but loving to tug the strings from above, orchestrating those below him with his words and presence alone. It was one of the things he always loved about him. 

 

Through the maze of shelves shielding them from prying eyes, they head the bell signalling the start of their first class, but they stayed there they were, listening to the muffled sound of chairs scraping and tired feet padding off to class. After a long moment, They grabbed their things and walked out, moving silently through the shelves to avoid the gaze of Madam Pince until they were already at the door. They moved through mostly empty halls, only the occasional upperclassman with a free period to be seen. The three walked out in the direction of Hagrid's hut but skirted past it, following the edge of the forest. Now, to find Sirius Black. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no i dont beta yes I wrote this very fast because my internet went out for a day and i had nothing else to do have fun!   
> aksldjs harry gets caught up in tangents a lot because his mind wanders a lot and also because I dont know when to stop. btw does this count as a short chapter? I dont know how long chapters are meant to be.

They waited until they were out of eyesight from the hut and ducked into the forest, immediately being swallowed by shadow, only a mottling of light crossing them on the rare occasion the trees branches separated. Luna watched the forest floor around them, stepping lightly and nothing anything they should stay weary of, having much better night vision then the others. Harry called out quietly for Sirius, knowing that as Padfoot he would be able to hear him through the thrum of the forest. Behind him, Draco called out on occasion, but mostly kept track of where they were and where they had been, keeping them from getting lost. 

Luna turned suddenly, “Hound.” She said softly and they followed, watching the shifting darkness in front of them, only vaguely making out the shifting shadows as they moved further into the dark. Harry called out Sirius’ name and Luna stopped abruptly, pulling out her wand. With a Lumos, they were surrounded by  light, showing them the large black dog stood in front of them, looking confused and ready to run. He looked to Luna and Draco confused, then his eye fell on Harry. Whimpering, he padded to Harry’s side looking up at him. 

“I know who you are, Padfoot, and I know you’re innocent.” Harry ran his hands best as he could through his matted fur, “We found Peter and he’s being brought to the ministry as we speak. We just need to keep you safe until they call the dementors off.” He stepped back, and nodded to the others, “These are my friends, I promise you can trust them, you just need to listen to me.”

While Harry explained the plan to Sirius (the part he needed to know, anyway), Luna accio’d what they needed and Draco checked to make sure everything was going to plan, ensuring they would be where they needed to be. When he’s sure Padfoot understands, he moves forward, the hound following close and trusting. Were he a worse person, he might take advantage of this. But no, he has a plan to see out. Instead, he grabs his invisibility cloak from Luna and wraps it around Padfoot, lets her lead them out of the woods while Draco watches their surroundings, making notes.

When they breach out of the forest, they make sure to stay just out of line of the hut and move back to the castle. No one knew about Sirius’s animagus form but Remus and them (and perhaps Dumbledore), but it was better safe than sorry. They didn't need any nosey first years asking questions about where they got the big black mutt. 

Draco separated from them first, heading down to the dungeons to speak with Snape as soon as class let out (in exactly 5 minutes, he warned them, he was so intense about timing and order, it was something he didn’t see often in the Dracos of his dreams). After, Luna took off to the medical wing with a fresh burn on her arm (courtesy of Harry) and airy story about trying to catch a nargle (though of course, her necklace would have warded them off anyways) to excuse herself from class, and Harry brought Padfoot up with him to Remus’ office. At first he thought Sirius would be a bit more skeptical of random bands of children hunting him down and forcing him into the castle where he was being hunted, but he followed diligently, hist soft padding behind hind falling in line with his own steps. 

They hung around across from Remus’ classroom, waiting for the bell to sound and the students to pour out and make their way to their next class. Harry stepped inside, when the hallway cleared, bringing Sirius in behind him. Remus sat at his desk, lost in thought. Harry tried calling his name once or twice, but he didn’t seem to hear. He meant to try once more when Padfoot stepped forward, giving a rough bark. 

“Wha- Harry?” Remus snapped out of his thoughts, looking to them. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I just needed to drop something off.” he bent down to undo the invisibility cloak from around Padfoot, trying to coax him from hiding behind Harry’s legs. “I found him hiding out in the Forbidden Forest and I figured he’d be safe here.”

“Harry... that isn’t- it can't-” Remus came from behind his desk, coming towards them. He leaned forward, looking for any sign of a trick or illusion. Harry doesn't know why, but his Remus is much more tentative then most he’s seen. “Padfoot?”

 

Getting Remus to take care of Sirius until the search was called off was easy, just as he had expected. If all went as it was meant to, Sirius would be exonerated, they would get back together, as he knew well they were before the war came between them, and they would take up their positions as godfathers and take him in. Then, he could floo straight to Draco’s manor or call him at least, have access to the many Black family libraries and begin warming his godfathers to the dark, or at least the idea of fraternizing with the enemy. He’s been planning this since his first year, with help from Draco and Luna on some finer details, and seeing everything go as it was meant to was one of the few things that made him truly happy.

It took Draco a long time, when their friendship was still new, hidden in glances across the great hall, quiet meetings in the library and unused classrooms and backhanded compliments in staged fights, to get used to his moods. He was so single minded, it was hard to cheer him up once he was in a slump, after a particularly maddening dream or when he was forced to go against everything inside him to play his role. It took two weeks in first year to drag him from his despair, having run through the trials in the third floor hallway, wanting nothing more than to see his Tom, just some proof that he was there and forgetting until he was already staring Quirrell down that he couldn't  _ touch  _ him. He tried desperately to back away, to warn him not to get to close but it had sounded like the ramblings of a terrified eleven year old. He had sobbed for days after watching Quirell’s body burn away from his touch, his Tom’s spirit fleeing from him as he’d seen it do over and over again in his mind. 

Luckily for his ruse, he just seemed shocked and afraid, as if he hadn’t expected to see the wraith of Lord Voldemort and feared for his life, terrified of the man who killed his parents and ruined his life. In reality, he was disgusted and furious with himself, for getting so close to his love, his Tom and ruining it. Draco visited him in the hospital wing after everyone had left, tried desperately to cheer him up in some way, only to have the philosopher's stone thrust into his hands (to place safely in his Gringotts vault) and be told to leave him be. 

After a week of radio silence then another few days of cryptic talk about hopelessness and finally 3 hours confiding in Draco what had happened in the slytherin common room (sneaking out was so easy when you convinced your roommates you went to bed an hour earlier than the rest of them) and being comforted, he let everything spill out, his dreams, the charade that was the persona he showed everyone but Draco, staying at the Dursleys, how his whole life had been revolving around finding Tom,  _ his  _ Tom and he had ruined it. 

And Draco listened to him and held him and understood and promised to do anything he could to help him. they stayed up together, scheming and plotting until Blaise had to come and break them up, dragging Draco to bed so as not to incur Snape’s wrath. The next day the whole of slytherin house was in on he and Draco’s secret friendship, those who knew already whispering proud ‘told you so’s’ to those just in the loop, but word had thankfully not spear further. 

In the week before the end of term, they had gotten two matching journals, the ones they held on to 4 years later. In the end of year feast, Harry cheered with the slytherins when they ended up with the most  house points (despite the hundred extra dumbledore tacked on for his ‘bravery’). On the platform, before he went to meet his parents, Draco left him with a promise to get him out of his family’s house. 

 

But of course, that was in the past. In the present, Harry moved through the rest of his day in a fog of accomplishment, waving off Ron and Hermione’s concern for him after his absence during potions, allowing himself a bit of slack in his usual routine of studying everything but his classwork, doing homework in advance and finding excuses to see his real friends. He ate a proper meal at lunch for the first time in a long time, Ron cracking a joke about it when he noticed Harry had eaten more than a few bites off his plate. He didn't bother mentioning his late night runs to the kitchen when he would wake in a cold sweat, soothed only by a warm cup of cocoa. Instead, he laughed along, watching the head table from the corner of his eye, and letting his smile grow just that little bit wider when he was Dumbledore receive some sort of news and make a quick exit, no doubt being told about the newest development in their dementor issue.

Harry’s afternoon classes were spent indulging in Ron’s antics and daydreaming, which was honestly how he spent most days, allowing himself to move mindlessly through days he had lived a thousand times over. There was only so much he could do as a fourteen year old and only so long to do it, of course his big actions would have a fair bit of time between them. But it was no matter, he was patient.

“Hey mate, are you in there?” Ron was waving his hand in front of his face, likely because he was staring off into space in the middle of the common room. No big deal. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking...” Harry looked off to the side, pretending to debate on what he was saying, “Did you notice Dumbledore at lunch today?” 

“Oh, yeah! Why do you think he left? Think they found Black or something?” Ron went wide eyed for a moment, “Maybe he’s still on the grounds somewhere, just waiting ‘till he can get you!” He cracked a smile at the discomfort on Harry’s face, reading it as anxiety or fear. “I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

Neville took that moment to walk up to them, having just gotten into the common room (likely after hanging back to work in the greenhouses), “Do you think something’s happened? I saw aurors coming down from Dumbledore’s office while I was coming back.” 

A few boys near the couch began to murmur, and he could see the cogs in Ron's head turning. Harry stood, catching their attention, “I'm sure whatever's going on will be explained soon,” he allowed himself a smile, “perhaps even by dinner time. For now though, I'm going to rest for a bit.” One of the major benefits of seeming as frail as he did was that no one was willing to begrudge him a rest. 

“Yeah, you're probably right, Harry.” Ron nodded, though the murmuring persisted. He looked up at him, “You always seem to know what's going on, y'know, like that looney girl in ravenclaw.”

Harry took a blessed moment to stop himself from immediately coming to Luna’s defense, they weren't supposed to be friends after all,  and turned towards the dorms as though he hadn't heard him. He only got so much fun out of being cursed with being a know it all and a good amount of that fun was from confusing children. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t hear the rumors about him, especially in the beginning. No one understood why he was so small and thin and tired and quiet, he was Harry Potter for Merlin’s sake, he was supposed to be the best of them, the brave, boisterous gryffindor. Even so, nothing came of whispers, Dumbledore never took him to his office and asked about his home life (dreams where he did were few and far between) and Snape gave him some looks he could interpret as confused or worried, especially that first year but if he went to Dumbledore with his concerns, they were obviously waved away. 

By the second year he had become an expert at stealing away nutrition potions and pepper up from the hospital wing, though he things at this point Pomfrey knows and is just allowing it, had begun to eat more than a few bites each day (getting his stomach accustomed to the rich food was not an easy task), and had stopped fainting at certain heights, so the rumors quieted a bit and he had just that little bit less of a spotlight, meaning more time to search out his Tom (after first year, he couldn't risk going after the diary, so he explicitly told Draco to make sure it made its way into his Gringotts vault.)

The disappointment that was Second year aside, he couldn't even bring himself to open the chamber, he was tired. So he made his way up to his dorms, set an alarm for around dinner and laid down in his bed, not bothering with the privacy charms he usually put up (another upside of being a know it all). Laying down, he let his eyes fall shut, but didn’t dare drift off to sleep, couldn't really. Instead mentally searched through his notes for any thing he got from that book back in Lucius’ study. What was it ‘the bonded soul and veela bonding rituals’? Of course neither he or Tom were veela in this life, but it was always safe to look, you never knew where you would find vital information. But still, when nothing of use was to be found in his memories, he moved on to other books, outlines and papers he had filed away in his mind. He has a nice little filing system stored away in the back of his mind (though he still couldn't find out certain files seemed to move about when he wasn't paying attention).

He was oh so close to reaching back just that little bit farther, trying vainly to reach into his memories from recent dreams, see if he could recall anything important, when his gods damned alarm went off. Groaning, he shut off the alarm and swung his legs off the bed. Time never seemed to be on Harry’s side for some reason and it was getting on his nerves. Nevertheless, he made his way to dinner, collecting Ron and Hermione behind him like lint, as he walked. He was sure he looked grumpy and tired, but with his smaller stature no one really took his bad moods seriously. 

His mood slowly lifted as they got closer to the great hall, as he heard the halls filled with whispers and rumours how the dementors were leaving and there were aurors in the school and didn’t Dumbledore's disappearance during lunch seem odd? Certain students, the slytherins mostly, looked at him almost expectantly, like they knew he had something to do with this is. And perhaps they did, he often shed his persona in the slytherin common room, not really caring who saw him, who would believe them? Well, he still put up some fun little privacy charms anyway, kept the more daring of them from getting too loose lipped, but if they knew he had done it, none had confronted him about it. 

He caught Luna’s eye as he made his way into the great hall, he gave a small nod and she beamed back at him, eyes hazy. They both sat at their respective tables and waited.

The dinner itself was the same as it ever was, he ate a small bit from what he put on his plate, politely said no to extras, and allowed Ron, Dean and Seamus to siphon off that was left, not wanting to waste food. The fun part came just before dessert, when Dumbledore stood to address the school, two aurors flanking him, the hall growing quiet. 

“Now, I’m sure rumours have already been flying about in regards to by sudden absence at lunch today, as well as the removal of the dementors from around school. ” He looked around and smiled generally, “No, Sirius Black has not been found as of yet, but the search for him will continue without the use of dementors.” The hall began to grow louder and everyone spoke among themselves and Dumbeldore allowed it for a moment before bringing attention back to the front. “As I’m sure you will find more information about this in the Prophet in the coming days, I’ll Keep it Simple. As new evidence and information has come to light surrounding the crimes Black has been accused of, he is to be given a fair trial and be exonerated.”

The aurors spoke behind him, watching Dumbledore and the student body weary as the news hit and, lo and behold, chaos began. Behind them, he could see Remus looking teary eyes, trying desperately to hide if from the professors around him (though Mcgonnigal was quick to console him). In the noise and clamour of the students around him, Harry slipped out of his seat and into the hall, escaping the oncoming headache from all the commotion. He debated briefly on finally making his way up to the chamber, finally allowing himself in, in celebration for making it a step closer to his Tom, to breath in the stale air, trapped since the last time he was in these halls. The thought sent a shiver down his spine, but he decided against it. Not yet anyways. He was saving that for later.

Harry made his way up to his dorms, taking a deep breath as he closed the door behind him. He found a special kind of pleasure in being alone, surrounded by the artifacts of those around him, but left in silence, as though they’d been abandoned. For a long time he couldn't stand it, especially three years ago after a dream where he spent years wandering a land that had been truly abandoned, forced into isolation, only the ghosts of his fellow man as company. Just the thought of it was enough to almost ruin his good mood. Luckily, the dorms were rife with distractions, notably the large eagle owl waiting outside his window, looking very unhappy at being left out. He opened the window quickly, making sure to get out of the way when Titanus slammed through with all the grace of an angry truck, carrying a letter with him. 

Harry grabbed the letter and grabbed some snacks for Titanus from near Hedwig's cage. “She’s out right now, so you can hang around in her cage if you want to sit for a little bit.” 

The look he was given told him very clearly that the owl would never stoop that low and after he finished his snack, he nipped at Harry once more and took off, not sparing another look at him. In short, Draco’s owl was a massive asshole. He sat at his desk and broke open the seal on the letter. 

 

_ Stag, _

 

_ Looking over the notebooks, we’ve found the hound a month ahead of schedule. On the bright side, that means we have a month left of classes with no big events planned. On the other hand, it means we have nothing concrete to focus on until the summer, which I know you don't always have an easy time with.  _

_ It's because of this that I am both sorry and please to be able to tell you: I’ve received a letter from my father. He wants to meet me during the next Hogsmeade weekend, apparently to discuss something to do with you. I’ll be bringing my cousin just in case and hopefully with the hound back in the house, you’ll be able to come with me (hidden of course). Hopefully this goes somewhere good and perhaps we’ll be able to move forward into our summer plans more quickly than we thought.  _

_ Good night,  _

 

_ Swan _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few things happen. It... Probably matters in the long run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdkfsalk short chapter because for some reason after like chapter 3 of any story my brain likes to give up :3c

There were only two weeks left in the year and Harry was getting anxious for the last Hogsmead weekend, in less than a weeks time. He could tell his bad mood for the past week was infectious, no matter how he tried to hide it. When they got the chance to hang out, Draco made sure to keep him occupied with his studies and helping him and Luna with theirs, lest his restlessness mood infect the rest of them. He was currently buried in a book he had read dozens of time over (involving the legality of artificial soul bonding and political marriages in the 1700s) but every so often his eyes would flit over to Draco and Luna who were working on essays for the rare class that hated its students enough to assign homework after exams along with their summer course work, books open and parchment splayed out over their table. Draco was, as in all things, wholly focused, eyes flickering from his parchment to his books rapidly as he wrote, smarter and more focused than most assumed because of his attitude and background. Luna barely looked at her books at all, writing airily and swiftly and allowing her eyes and attention to wander every so often, knowing very well that she knew enough of the subject to bullshit what she didn't. 

He wanted to be paying attention, regardless of his near memorization of the book already, but he was never good at waiting or paying attention while in one of his moods. Instead he thought about how he could easily do his, Draco's and Luna's homework by himself for at least the next few years, knowing most of the Hogwarts curriculum more or less by heart, and how Draco would be well suited to ritual magic and how Hermione prided herself on knowing the library inside and out but had never found them in the same spot they had been sitting in for the past 4 years. He thought about how neglected the books around them seemed, dist laying in a thick film over everything around them. Thank the gods he wasn't asthmatic. He thought about how his thoughts faded to black as his eyes slipped shut against his will, unable to tell where his rogue thoughts ended and his dreams began. At least, at first. 

 

_ “Keep still, sir, you’re injured.” _

_ “Wha- what happened?” _

_ “I’m afraid you had a bit of an accident. It’s no worry, I’ll take care of you. _ ”

 

_ “I really don’t want to be a bother, are you sure there are no hospitals nearby?” _

_ “Quite sure. Now, It’s time for your medication.” _

 

_ “How was I hurt?” _

_ “Oh, it was simply awful. You were attacked, I saw the whole thing. You’re so lucky I was there for you.” _

_ “Yes, Yes, I suppose I was. Thank you, Sir.” _

_ “Please, Call me Harry.” _

 

_ “I think it’s time for me to go, Harry, I feel fine.” _

_ “But Tom, think of what happened last time. What if you’re hurt again?” _

_ “I can’t just stay here forever!” _

_ “...Why not?” _

 

_ “Tom? Where are you?” _

 

_ “Tom? This isn’t funny! Tom!” _

 

_ “TOM!” _

 

“NO.” 

 

His head shot up from where it had rest on his palm, a thin sheen of sweat developing on Harry’s brow as the peak of his panic slowly fell. He looked around himself, gripping the table tight to ground himself. He could tell he was worrying his friends but the thought wasn't really registering as an issue, believe it or not.

Across from him, Draco had startled and Luna frowned, closing their books. “What happened?”

Harry stammered for a moment, trying to get the words to come to him. “I. I hurt him.” His voice was soft and hoarse, mouth dry. “I wanted him so bad, I hurt him. Caged him. Tried to keep him to myself. And he escaped.” His nails dug into the wood of the table, no doubt leaving gouges in their place. "He always does."

Draco nodded and stood to come sit beside him, Luna following, both wrapping an arm about him. “Need anything, Stag?”

Harry closed his eyes and huffed, his heart rate returning to normal. He didn’t usually have company when he woke from his dreams, he made sure not to fall asleep during the day so he wouldn't worry anyone. It felt  _ nice _ to have his friends around him, it had been a long time. He might have to talk Draco into letting him sleep in the slytherin dorms to test this further. 

“I’ll be fine, I always am.” He shrugs, his unfortunately characteristic dismissal of his own well being doing little to appease Draco or Luna, “Just hand me some parchment, I need to get this down now and I don't have my dream journal.”

 

As study time was fairly thoroughly interrupted, Harry finished his entry and they packed their things to go. They were making their way through the veritable maze that was the library, comfortably silent, when they were intercepted by a genial but confused looking Remus. He cleared his throat into his hand, obviously surprised to see his company but too polite to bring it up. “Ah, Harry, I wanted to speak with you for a second.”

“Is everything alright professor?” He asked, tilting his head in feigned innocence, signaling for Luna to move away from him casually, settling on the other side of the bookcase beside them. Draco followed suit, moving the other direction, seating himself at a nearby table as though he had just been passing by. They didn’t get caught together often, but typically, just walking away as if nothing happened was good enough for people to leave it be. Remus watched them go, visibly skeptical. 

"Well, I just got back from taking Pads to the ministry and I wanted to thank you again, on both our behalves." He smiled, his grin toothy and lopsided. He looks less tired than before, like he could sleep for the first time in years, held himself ever so slightly straighter, smiled just that bit wider. It was nice to see. Harry was happy for him. "I was uh, actually hoping to thank your friends too. Pads said that you were with some friends, a boy and a girl. I had assumed it was Ron and Hermione, but-"

Remus' looked me as close to in the eye and either of us found comfortable. "I don't suppose it matters who. Just that they get our thanks. For everything." 

He smile. And Harry smiled. It was an overwhelmingly pleasant interaction. He nodded and said goodbye, that he was going back to his office and that he would see me soon. Remus turned away and disappeared in the shelves, leaving a warm feeling in his place. After a moment, Draco and Luna rejoined Harry, standing on either side of him as though it was where they naturally fell, a second nature. 

Luna gripped the strap of her bag, smiling her dreamy smile."it's always nice to be appreciated, huh." 

"I see what you mean, Harry," Draco nodded, allowing himself a small smile. "He's nice. Understanding. I can see him coming to Sunday dinners." 

Harry wanted to save that warm feeling in his chest forever, held in a deep breath. Instead, he let his breath out, smiling just a bit goofier than he would usually allow. "He's the easy one," he murmured, "Imagine the hound sitting across from your mother at the dining table." 

Luna's laugh was light and melodic, the kind of thing you thought you heard while searching for fairies as a child. She didn't seem to know how to stop herself from laughing whenever the chance came, there was no stifling her. On the other hand, I had only seen Draco laugh out loud three times in this life, all during late night kitchen raids. Instead, he gave a huffing, airy laugh that you could barely hear through his quirked lip. It was a lovely sound, hiding the brash, rough laugh he knew Draco was capable of. The two of them surrounded him, making him forget, if for a moment, his dream and his agitation, allowing him a bright spot in an otherwise dull few days. 

They hung around in the maze a small while longer, cracking quiet jokes about dogs at the table and and wolves chasing peacocks in the yard. By the time they made it out of the library, they were a couple hours out from dinner (two hours and 15 minutes,  Draco notes) so they go their separate ways. Harry makes his way up to the common room, he didn't have any classes that day so he'd been hiding out in the library for most of the day. He ignored the fat lady's odd, questioning look and made his way inside, hoping to bypass Ron (who was undoubtedly hanging around the common room) to make it to the dorms. 

He thought, foolishly, that he had passed by any of the numerous Weasleys that might interrupt him from going up to his room and resting, but he had apparently failed to account for the twins. Better them than Ginny, at least. (Sure she was a good friend, strong and brave, but he couldn't stomach the thought of falling in love with someone other than his Tom.)

Fred and George stood leaned against the door to the dorms, laughing between themselves like they didn't see Harry right in front of him. Harry tried very, very hard not to show how not up for this he was at the moment. Don't get him wrong, he loved the twins, they were a bucket of laughs, loyal and always up to help others in their own way. But, unsurprisingly,  they weren't the best companions when one was trying to pay attention to one's goals. 

"Funny seeing you here," George greeted.

"Very funny indeed," Fred continued, putting his arm back to open the door.

"Considering everyone we've asked said you've been in your room all day." George looked at him strangely, walking into the room.

"Yeah, funny that," Fred followed.

Harry grimaced. This wasn't the first time the twins had confronted him about his conspicuous disappearances and his way of getting about the castle as he did. A compiled few thousand years at Hogwarts and he had memorized most of the tunnels and passageways, marauders map be damned. He had taken up the map back in second year as a countermeasure to ensure no one would see where he and his friends were and start drawing conclusions and he didn't put any thought into handing it off to the twins as they seemed to be getting along just fine without it. 

However. If he were to give them the map... it would get them off his back, at least for awhile, and if they noticed his peculiar friend choice, they weren't the type to act without thinking things through. At the very least, they would come to him before making a move. Though honestly, at this point, he couldn't tell if it actually made sense or if he just really wanted them to leave him alone about it. He sat at his bed, pretending to be deep in thought while the twins hovered around him, getting ready for their next barrage of words. Really, it couldn't hurt.

Sighing, Harry stood, moving past the twins and to his trunk. He kneeled down to unlock it and looked back at the twins with a raised brow. “I can trust you two, right?”

“Why harry!” Fred gasped, feigning offence. “I’m surprised at you!”

“The very idea!” George wilted dramatically, falling back for Fred to catch him.

“Really, We’ve never been so hurt!”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” He opened his trunk, making a show of rummaging through it to find the map he knew very well was hidden in a secret compartment under an old robe and 2 textbooks. He pulled it out and held it close, as if protective of it. He stopped for a second, pretending to think longer, watching the curiosity on the twins faces grow. “If you really want to know what I’ve been hiding, I suppose you two can be trusted.”  He led the twins to sit on either side of him on his bed, holding the map out on his lap. “Now, what this map hold, you can't tell anyone, alright?” 

“Of course, Harry!” Fred placed a hand over his heart.

“You know we can always keep a secret!” George followed his lead.

Harry smiled. They really were fun. “Alright. _ I solemnly swear, I’m up to no good.  _ ”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> various confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdkfhsa out internet went out again so here i am, back on my bullshit. i swear this shit will actually matter eventually

Finally Finally,  _ Finally _ ! Harry nearly had to stop himself from physically vibrating with excitement, mostly because doing so might cause him to faint (he hadn't slept the night before and hadn't eaten that morning, instead running on pepper up potions, much to Draco’s discomfort.) He walked with Ron and Hermione through Hogsmeade, giving the occasional half hearted reply to their conversations, playing his inattentiveness off as nervousness. Which he wasn't, of course. Totally. 

It's not like this would be his first time (almost) face to face with Lucius in years, perhaps lifetimes. The man had at times been an enemy, a friend, a mentor, a brother, a trusted follower. Harry couldn't keep these memories from circling his mind, nor the real question. Who would he be to him in his life?  

“-arry?” He could barely hear Hermione trying to get his attention. “Harry!”

“Oh, uhm, What?” He stuttered, forcing his face to flush as though he were embarrassed. Which he wasn't, of course. Totally. 

“I was trying to tell you,” she sighed, as dramatic as ever, “That I’m sure Sirius is just as nervous to meet you as you are him.”

“Oh, I know, Hermione, I just,” He looked away, hiding his eyes as if hiding a sheen of tears, putting a slight waver to his voice, “I just hope I’m what he expects... That he’s be proud of me.”

Hermione, ever the softie, pulled him in for a hug and gave him a smile. “I’m sure he’s going to love you.”

“Yeah, mate, how couldn't he,” Ron piped in, “You’ve survived so much crap at school alone, you should get a medal or something.”

Harry sniffed, laughing a bit, “That's, mate, it means a lot.” He totally hadn’t almost forgot about his little lie to get away from the two. 

He didn’t know why, but the idea of this meeting was messing with him, far more than the sleep deprivation and hunger ever had. He was off his game, if ever so slightly, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. It was honestly making him a bit uncomfortable. He was about to be in spitting distance of the closest thing he had to his Tom since first year and he was going in at compromised. Harry scolded himself gently at this, pulling himself together. He refused to risk his own agenda over such silly feelings. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he noted a subtle shine at the edge of his vision. Looking over, he saw a shining hare staring out at him from behind a tree, nose twitching before it ran off. He sighed, overwhelmingly thankful for Luna’s signal to get to the restaurant. 

“Guys, it's about time I get going,” He spoke up, getting Hermione and Ron’s attention. Ron nodded, giving him a ‘alright, good luck, mate’, but Hermione frowned. 

“Harry, are you sure we can't come with you?” He asked, concerned, “I just think it would be better to have friends around when you meet Sirius.”

Harry fought to keep his internal grimace internal and gave a small smile instead, “I understand ‘Mione, but he was really specific about wanting to talk alone. He’s been through so much already, I’m sure he’d just like a quiet moment alone with me.”

Hermione nodded, understanding but hesitant and said her goodbye, reminding him that if he needed them, they would be around. 

Harry nodded and waved as they walked off, waiting until they were a bit away before turning briskly and walking between the buildings closest to him, using the cover to grab the cloak from his band and cover himself with it, making his way to Madam Puddifoot’s. 

Outside the tea house, he could see Lucius speaking quietly with his son and Luna, not having gone in get. Quickly and quietly, Harry made his way beside them, lightly touching Draco’s arm to show he was there. In turn, Draco, pretended to look into the fogged windows to check on something or another and smiled to his father, “Well, I believe we’ve waited long enough, father. Shall we go inside?”

Lucius nodded, though a questioning look flitted over his eyes. He gestured to Luna, “Ladies first, of course.”

Luna nodded her thanks and walked inside, Harry following quickly before Draco and Finally Lucius. Harry sneered at the tacky pastel nightmare that was the decor, almost rubbing his wrists at the memory of Dolores. He had never liked it here. Shoving away his intense distaste for the place, he noticed that the other patrons were much more sparse than usual, the occasional couple hanging in the corners of the place instead of the wall to wall crowd to dopey lovestruck teenagers. Harry supposed Lucius would have made sure the place wasn't packed when he set up to meet here, not wanting to deal with the teenage clientele.

They went to sit, Draco sitting them close enough to another empty table that harry could sit and listen without attracting attention to himself. He could feel it when Lucius cast a privacy charm around them and brushed it aside, knowing the man’s magic like the back of his hand. 

“Draco, now that pleasantries are out of the way, I have news for you.” Lucius began, looking strange and severe surrounded by hideous, dingy pastel decorations. “We will have a guest at the manor this summer, one who may require our utmost attention as he finalized some work he’s come to finish.” Lucius spoke pointedly and vaguely, but not enough that the three didn’t know exactly what he was talking about.

“Now, we were going to hold off his  _ visit  _ until next summer, but the manor he was meant to stay in burned down before he could get back to the country,” Harry smiled at this. It’s amazing what a few well placed holiday sparklers could do to old, derelict homes. “So he has decided to work from our home instead of rebuilding.”

Draco nodded, smiling softly, fighting the urge to grin in Harry’s direction. “Thank you for telling me in advance, Father. I look forward to being able to help out guest over the summer.”

Lucius hmm’d and nodded, “As you should be, Draco. And that brings me to what I wanted to speak with you about.” Draco didn’t let it show, but Harry could see his metaphorical ears pick up, Luna smiling all the sweeter. “With out guest comes many new  _ visitors  _ that will be around the manor from time to time along with new artifacts. I don't need to tell you that these things can be and likely are dangerous and you are not to touch them without express permission.”

When Draco nodded his understanding, Lucius continued, “It’s because of this that i ask you be wary of bringing any uninvited guests into the house.” Harry stopped breathing, watching Draco and Luna glance towards each other and back to Draco’s father, being careful not the look in Harry’s direction.

“What do you mean?” Draco asked, his face as innocent as it really could be given the circumstances.

“Draco, you know I’ve always tried to be lenient to your behavior as long as you behave yourself. I didn’t say anything these past summers because you seemed content to play and explore with your  _ friend  _ and not cause much trouble.” Before Draco could try and deny it, Lucius stopped him, “Draco, while I commend you getting them past the main wards, please realize that the wards around  _ my office  _ alert me to how many people enter and exit.”

If Harry didn't know better, he would swear Draco’s face had flushed bright red, not that he would ever admit it. In retrospect, he really should have recognized those wards. 

After that, most of the meeting was catching up and a few more not so subtle warnings for Draco to stay out of business he wasn't meant to be in, so Harry mostly toned it out, skimming the conversation more than anything. On occasion, he heard Luna try to bring up their guest, likely to stop Harry from going back with boredom, but Lucius stayed vague and tight lipped, as he was wont to do, throughout the lunch. It was no matter, he would know everything soon. So he waited for the blondes to finish their chat and stood with them to leave, still careful to make as little sound as possible. While they said their goodbyes by the door, Harry made his way out, ducking behind the building to remove the cloak. He leaned against the side of the building, eyes closed to think about the information he had gained, what they would do with it. Technically speaking, it wasn't anything they didn't already know, but he found that really seeing people relationships and character made it far easier to pick out their next actions from the thousands of paths in his mind. 

Soon enough, he heard the pop of apparition as Lucius left, presumably back to the ministry, and Draco and Luna came to him. They sat together in silence for a long moment, Luna passing the two boys sweets she had snagged off the counter before leaving, thinking to themselves while they ate. Draco was, of course, the one to break the silence. 

“Well, that was embarrassing,” he grumbled, powdered sugar lining his lips, “I can't believe I forgot his office wards.”

Luna snickered, trying not to choke on her sweet and failed spectacularly, devolving into a coughing fit while Draco blushed to his roots, pointedly not helping. Harry reached over to help her cough out the sweets, trying not-so-hard not to laugh along. 

"Luckily, Uncle just thinks you're sneaking me into the manor over the summer," she smiled, her voice roughened to a whisper from choking, "we can use that, can't we?"

"Well, now we have a precedent for you bringing Luna in," Harry nodded, "Lucius may see you two out in the open and be less inclined to worry about what you're doing out of sight, give you more leniency to get out of the house if he's so worried about what the beetles will do while He's there."

If there would be death eaters coming in and out of the house throughout the summer anyway, it would make coming in all the easier, he could probably just floo into the house and Lucius would assume it another follower. Really, things were looking up.

"With Luna in the house, we'll be able to get the modified translation into His hands quicker, right?" Draco tilted his head, about to pull his notebook from his robes. "How is that going by the way?"

Luna smiled, "Oh, I got a letter back from my dad yesterday evening. He says that the way the ritual is set up, there's a good chance it's meant to be willingly, but given the etiquette and customs at the time of writing, honourably would cover more bases and should work." She looked to Harry, "I was going to finish transcribing the translation this evening and pass it off to you tomorrow on the train, but if you think you can get away from the lions den long enough, you can come up to get it tonight."

"I'll take you up on that, Star," He smiled softly, "perhaps we'll make a night of it, have a camp out in the astrology tower to celebrate another year completed."

Luna gave what could only be labeled a grimace, an odd look on her, "and here I thought we'd forgotten that nickname." 

"Oh Luna, there's no way to forget that you spent 3 years insisting the moon was a star," Draco gave a breathy laugh, "I can promise you I will never let you live it down."

"Besides, Hare, you'll always be my star," Harry gave her a disgustingly saccharine smile and was not at all surprised when he had a jinx shot at him for his troubles.

“Hare would be a much better nickname!” 

“But it sounds too much like Harry!"

They bickered back and forth for a surprisingly long time, devolving into jokes and jinxes and petty complaints at each other, the sky darkening significantly by the time they made their way out from behind the tea house, the streets mostly empty besides the occasional couple trying to get in their last few kisses goodbye. Draco split off from them, saying he would meet up with them at the tower in a few hours, he just had to take care of some things. 

Harry followed Luna back to Hogwarts, walking the long way rather than cutting through any of the hidden passageways that lead into the castle. They walked in a comfortable silence, broken up only by the crack rustle of plants and wood snapping beneath their feet (as light as they were). Really, part of Harry wished his life could be like this, not knowing his past lives, just living day to day with his friends, not having any worried beyond quidditch tryouts and exams, being able to be a child. For a moment, he wonders how his life would be if he never had those dreams. There was always a chance he would still befriend Draco and Luna, perhaps not as tactfully, but perhaps that would have been for the best. Perhaps, he could have lived blissfully in his ignorance. 

Then again, Harry frowned as his thoughts hit a flaming brick wall, that means he wouldn't be prepared for meeting his Tom and really, that’s just not something that he can risk. Thoughts of childhood friendships and bliss meant nothing if his future was damned in the process. So, he supposed he would have to savor these peaceful moments when he got them. Beside him, Luna veered slightly off track, catching sight of some small movement in the tall grass. 

“Oh, Harry, come look at this!” She called, bending down to scoop up whatever she had been watching, “Isn’t it lovely?”

Harry came towards her, looking over her shoulder at what seemed to be a young snake, curling up in the comparative warmth of Luna’s hands. In the dark, Harry couldn't make out any markings, but it seemed to have gorgeous, glossy dark scales that were hard to come by in non-magical snakes. He out his hands out to hold it, knowing well that his hands were far warmer than Luna's (her circulation was honestly abysmal). The snake allowed itself to be moved, oddly passive, and relaxed as much as it dared in its newfound warmth. “ _ Well, aren’t you a beautiful creature. _ ”

“ _ Why, thank you, Human, _ ” The snake hissed,its voice having an odd note to it, as though it was lisping, “ _ You’re a bit boney in my opinion though. _ ”

Harry couldn't help laughing, it had been a very long time since he’s seen a snake so nonchalant, they were usually very appearance conscious and not particularly fond of people, “ _ Well, sorry to disappoint, little one. _ ”

“ _ Please, human, call me Basil,”  _ The snake made what Harry could only describe as a smile, “ _ Princess Basil if you’re so inclined. _ ”

“ _ So I suppose you’re a female than, Princess Basil?” _

_ “Oh no, I’m a male, I just enjoy the title,”  _ Basil slithered up and under Harry’s robes, curling around his forearm, “ _ And you’re name? _ ”

“ _ You can call me Harry, _ ” He quirked a brow at the snakes antics, “ _ You seem quite lackadaisical for a snake, Princess _ .”

“ _ I don't know what that means, but I suppose you mean that I’m not as stuffy as most others, _ ” He blinked up at him, “ _ I figure it’ll all work out either way, what’s the point in worrying about it? _ ”

Harry looked up at Luna, who had been quietly watching their exchange, “Remind me to save this memory later.” At her nod, he turned once more to Basil, “ _ And how do you know things will work out? _ ”

“ _ Well, it always does. I wasn't meant to live past my first winter, but here I am. When I’m hungry, I just happen to pass wounded prey, when I’m tired, I stumble upon abandoned shelters, and just when I was getting cold, two humans pick me up to warm me, one being a speaker, _ ” Basil hissed happily, “ _ That’s just my luck isn't it! _ ”

“I Suppose it is, Princess,” He murmured, turning to Luna, “What are the odds that I could hide a snake in the gryffindor dorm until the end of term feast?”

“The dorms? Easy. Your godfathers manor? Not as easy.” She smiled, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out though. Maybe convince the hound to love snakes via the power of metaphor.”

“You always have such faith in me, Little Star,” He teased, but thanked her nonetheless, “ _ Well, Basil, would you like to come with me and my friend? I can take care of- _ ”

“ _ Of course, I wanna! _ ” Basil popped his head out from Harry’s sleeve, “ _ A free, warm place to stay, and someone to talk to? What could go wrong? _ ”

Harry stopped himself from correcting the snake, instead knocking on the nearest piece of fallen wood to ward off whatever bad luck would come from Basil asking ‘what could go wrong’. He let Basil stay wrapped around his arm, hidden by his robe sleeve as they walked on, pretending not to hear the snakes joyful singing as they went. Basil reminded him of a snake he had kept in another life, a cobra he’d named daffodils as a child who seemed completely unphased by anything short of a knife being thrown at her head and had an attitude to match. He could almost feel her weight around his shoulders, egging him on to every bad idea he voiced and he was sure that in this life, Basil would be much the same. Every so often, Luna would look over to him eyes dreamy and unfocused, reflecting the lights of the castle as they neared it, “You two are gonna make a great pair.” Harry supposed that’s the best vote of confidence he could ask for.

Walking into the castle, they knew very well that they were late for dinner, and in a brilliant moment of teenage logic just decided not to go, instead Luna sent a note  to Draco telling him to meet them at the astrology tower after dinner and Harry sent one to Ron, saying he had eaten enough earlier and would be in the Library for a while. Sure enough that they would be free for at least the next hour, they began the trek up to the ravenclaw common room. Or at least they tried to. Apparently, Harry wasn’t allowed to avoid being accosted for a day.

“Mr. Potter, Miss Lovegood,” Severus began, sweeping dramatically in front of them, as he was wont to do, ”I don’t suppose you two have a good reason to be missing dinner?” While it wasn't particularly relevant, Harry could smell the potion vapors that had stuck themselves to Severus’s person, and the all consuming stench of wolfsbane almost stopped him in his tracks. Gods, that man needed to change his robes after he spent long hours brewing.

Evidently, Luna could smell it as well, as Harry could see her nose crinkle just the smallest bit. He almost felt bad for her. Severus must have seen her movement as well, because he trained his gaze on her, “Is something the matter, Miss Lovegood?”

She smiled, though it was slightly harder around the edges than usual, “We’re sorry professor, we both came back from Hogsmeade a bit late and Harry offered to walk me to my dorm to discuss some classwork,” She stepped back, “Not to give excuses and run, but I’m afraid I’m allergic to Aconite.” She gave Harry a ‘see you later’ and continued on to the dorms, Snape too taken aback to stop her. 

Harry gave him a nervous smile, hunching a bit (Wow he really hasn't eaten anything today, huh?), “I’m sorry professor, Luna’s got a sensitive nose,” He held his arms behind his back as he felt Basil began to squirm, “Though, she was telling the truth, we just lost track of ti-”

“Potter.” Severus stopped him, “I need to speak with you, come with me.”

Oh, this did not bode well. He knew he would have to answer to Severus eventually, but he didn’t expect it to be  _ now.  _ He looked back to where Luna had run off and was tempted to run after her, but followed Severus regardless, mentally begging Basil to not get him caught. The man led him to an unused classroom, not an uncommon sight in a castle this size, and set Harry down at a desk while he stayed standing. 

“Potter. I believe you know very well that I’ve been meaning to speak with you for a long while,” he began, “Not only for the peculiar circumstances involving Black from a few weeks ago, but your behavior throughout the school year.”

“Sir, I'm not sure I understand-”

“Potter, have you eaten anything today besides a pepper up potion?” Severus glared down at him, catching Harry’s blush before he could stomp it down, “And don't try to deny it, I can smell it on your breath.”

“Well, sir, I didn’t sleep well last night and I didn’t have much time to eat so-” He was cut off once again. Obviously Severus had something to say.

“Listen, brat, I’m not your parent (thank god), and I’m not your caretaker, what you do in your free time should be your business. BUT,” his expression hardened, “I am your teacher, and therefore I have to make sure you don’t kill yourself at the very least. I’m sure Draco would be none to pleased about it.

“At this point, as you’ve yet to get him killed, I don't particularly care about your bizarre friendship with my  _ godson,  _ but I can not, as an educator stand by while you hurt yourself like an idiot.” Severus huffed and sat on the teachers desk at the front of the room, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know what you’re doing running around in secret all the time, how and why you found Black, how you never pay attention in class, yet have grades just second to Miss Granger, how you know things no child your age should no and don't seem to realize when you accidentally show that you're not a complete idiot in casual conversation. I don't know and honestly, I don't care. But don’t put you, my godson, or that Lovegood girl in danger for the sake of it.”

Harry shrunk back a bit in his seat. He didn’t expect a talk like this from Severus, a first for him really, most people never get the chance to truly surprise him. Part of him thinks this unexpected side of the man is intensely interesting and will be so fun to work with, but another part recognizes that this is a fresh unknown variable and he really doesn't want to deal with that, but he’s too flustered from this impromptu speech to say anything of consequence.

“Professor, I-” He tried to think of something to say that didn't sound incriminating or stupid, “I understand. Thank you for talking with me about this.”

“Of course, Potter. Now either go to dinner and eat something for once or get to your dorm.” Severus stood and swept out of the room, not looking back. Before Harry could get up and continue on his way to the ravenclaw dorms, when Severus popped back in, “And next time I catch you with a snake in the castle, I will give you detentions through the next month.”

****Harry's eyes trailed down to see Basil peering curiously out from his sleeve. "Damn it, Princess."  



	5. the end of the year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter i suppose but like, it exists.
> 
> happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, joyous Yule and a hell yeah for Kwanzaa, i promise not to take 5 months next time :3c 
> 
> pls tell me if i missed any egregious spelling/typing mistakes!

The night was pleasant after all was said and done. He collected Luna’s translation from her dorm (of course checking that she was alright, she really was allergic to wolfsbane) and they had made their way to the astronomy tower where Draco was waiting. He feigned annoyance at their late arrival, but already had a small spread of fruits and bread and cheese laid out on the ground, a proper picnic. Harry made an executive decision not to tell them about his talk with Snape, not yet anyway. It wasn't too pressing of a matter at the moment and he wouldn't want to ruin such a nice night.

They lay beside each other, watching the stars and slowly making their way through the food (Basil having a surprising taste for cheese) while talking over a whole lot of little nothings rather than the many big somethings that they usually spend their time on. Every so often, he would relay messages from Basil to Draco and Luna and back, making for a rather fun game of telephone. 

“Why does he sound like that?” Luna asked after he told them about a particularly scathing insult to Draco’s hair from the snake.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, his hissing. It sounds different somehow, but I can’t put my finger on it.” She tilted her head to him, popping a grape into her mouth.

“Oh, well,” Harry thought for a second, “I guess it sounds a bit like a lisp. I don't know why he’s got it though.” he looked down at Basil, “ _ Princess, why is your voice like that _ ?”

“ _ Huh _ ?” Basil looked to way from his staring match with Draco, “ _ Oh, my voice. Ah, It’s this funny little thing in my mouth _ .” 

Basil opened his mouth wide to show a round purple stone that had embedded itself in the roof of his mouth. “ _ It got stuck there when I was little and it’s been there since _ .”

Harry moved in a bit closer to look at the stone, intrigued but not surprised. “There’s no way this doesn't become relevant, that's ridiculous.” 

“Hm, seems like something you would stumble upon,” Luna smiled into her hand, knowing very well the depths of contrivance and coincidence that had plagued his lives over the millennia.

Draco leaned over to look at Harry, seeming to get it, despite his inability to see the admittedly ridiculous amount of plot he’s had to go through. “Someone’s gotta take a look at that,” he muttered, “Who knows what kind of curses that thing could have.”

Harry shrugged, mentally glazing over his memories to see if something like this had happened before, “I’ll take my chances.”

They laid back and stayed like that for another few hours after their picnic was finished, watching the stars, reminiscing and cracking jokes. Draco was the first to drift off, eyes fluttering shut while Luna hummed softly, a slow tune her mother had sung to the both of them as children. Beside them, Basil was wrapped up in himself, sleeping warm in Draco's discarded outer robes (how the boy could stand sleeping in the cold, he would never understand). Luna jokingly suggested doodling on Draco's face as punishment for being the first to sleep, but Harry could see the exhaustion of a full day dulling her eyes. He smiled, kissed her cheek and told her to get to bed. 

"Of course, Stag," She mumbled, curling up beside her cousin and letting her eyes close softly, soon fast asleep. 

Harry sat beside them, watching his friends, his confidants in this life, rest peacefully beside him. It was in these quiet moments that he remembered how young they were, round faces marred with dark circles and exhaustion, but peaceful nonetheless. Harry had known these two, for better and worse, days and decades, seemingly forever. He had known them through eternity, through childhoods long forgotten, rose tinted school years, bloody wars and blessed peace times. It almost surprised him, where given the time to think about it, how attached to the two he was, and them to him. They were his. His friends, his confidants, his followers, his few trusted. His swan and his star. 

Empowered by his sudden burst of possessiveness, he stood, setting them a wake up alarm for the morning, and sliding in between the blondes, laying comfortably flanked by them. Luna leaned into him, head nearly resting on his arm, while Draco's arm came out to rest on his chest, searching for heat in the cold night. Harry lets himself sink into the warmth around him and the sleep behind his eyes, his last conscious thoughts the unlikely hope that His Tom could be looking up at these same stars.

 

_ "We're connected, Tom, I can feel it." _

 

_ "Well, forget it. This can't go on, we never should have let it get this far." _

 

_ "How can i forget this? We were made for each other, you can't tell me you don't feel this!" _

 

_ "Potter, you're married! You have a child on the way! One night of good sex won't just get rid of your wife." _

 

_ "I don't care about her, Tom! You know i never did! Please, you've been my mate, my closest friend for years now. It's always been you." _

 

_ "Yeah? Well you should have thought about that before you knocked up  _ Ginerva  _ fucking  _ Weasley. _ " _

 

_ "You can't just leave like that. Tom! TOM GET BACK HERE! THIS WASN'T A MISTAKE!" _

 

_ "Tom, call me back, it's important." _

 

_ "I don't understand why you're mad at me, just answer your calls!" _

 

_ "Tom please, I know you're getting my voicemails just... call me back." _

 

_ "Tom, please answer your phone, it's been weeks. I just. Want my friend back." _

 

_ "Please, don't leave me like this." _

 

Harry woke with a silent gasp, the quick pain of a bullet through his skull fading quickly as he took in where he was. Draco and Luna were still asleep at his sides, Luna's head cradled between his chest and arm, Draco wrapped around him like a pillow, and a quick tempus told him it would still be 10 minutes before their alarm went off. He let out a steady breath, calming his racing heart and stored the memory of his dream away in his mind to be recorded in his journal later. For now, he watched the low sun rise slowly through the tower window, momentarily lost in the soft warm display of colour, his thoughts slowing to a halt. It wasn't often that his mind quieted, the compiled thoughts and jumbleded memories of thousands of lifetimes swam constantly in his consciousness, disorganizing his thoughts and seriously hindering his ability to concentrate on anything for long periods of time. Anything but Tom, that is. In his mind’s silence, he didn’t notice when he zoned out, staring up at the slowly moving sky until he was shocked out of it by the alarm sounding, rousing the others. 

Basil was the first to be properly conscious, attempting to curl further into Draco’s robes to escape the sound. Then Luna, light sleeper she was, rose just that little bit less gracefully that she could have, moving to nudge Draco awake, a feat in it’s own right. Harry stood, going to pack up the trash and remains from their picnic the night before, not wanting to leave the astronomy tower a mess (tried that before, lives back, and was caught by Firenze. He’d never forget how much malice such brilliant blue eyes could hold.) and not wanting to bother carrying it out, he put all the trash together and burned it right there, controlling the small blaze with ease. When he put it out, he was genuinely surprised at the speed Basil slithered to the pile of ashes, curling around in them before they could cool. 

“ _ Princess, don’t roll in the ashes, _ ” Harry frowned, reaching down to try and gather Basil in his arms, “ _ I was hoping to not have to bathe you for awhile. _ ”

“ _ Oh, but it’s fun! _ ” Basil gave a hissing laugh, wriggling on his arm, leaving smudges of black, “ _ You should have more fun. _ ”

“ _ It’s not going to be as fun when I put Draco in charge of your baths. _ ” He set his face straight, trying not to laugh at Basil’s obvious discomfort at the idea, “ _ And I mean real bathes, not just giving you water to lay in when you want. _ ”

Basil huffed, curling into his sleeve to hide, “ _ You’re so cruel to me... _ ”

Harry allowed it, promising himself he would shower soon, already able to feel the trails of soot being left on his skin. With a flick of his wand, he sent the ashes out the window, ready to go back to his dorm. “In any case, we should all get to out dorms soon to shower, we need to be at breakfast to collect out exam resu-”

“Harry,” Luna came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him, dragging him back to where Draco was still lying on the ground, his eyes open at least. “Will you come sit with us?”

“Star, you know I hate to say no to you, but we really should go.” He frowned, making no attempt to get her arms off of him. Luna was so very independent, she followed orders like a champ, but always of her own mind. If not for her trust in their collective planning, she would probably  be flitting around like the little fae she was, trying to fix and solve everything on her own.

“Well, of course we should,” he could feel her smile behind his head, “but I think you would like this little gift from us, to celebrate another year over.”

Harry frowned, turning in her arms, looking over her shoulder to Draco, “What have you two done?”  Luna’s intuition and Draco’s ability to do basically whatever he wanted to tended to make gifts an event.

 

“Just wait a moment,” she pulled him down to sit beside Draco and her, watching the sky. They sat together in a calm silence, though Harry’s eyes flitted from the cousins to the sky, searching for anything to explain to him exactly what was about to happen. For a moment he wondered what would come first, the cousins’ surprise or Draco’s realization that his hair was a mess. Just when Harry was sure Draco was awake enough to check his hair, Ttitanus flew in from the large window, a simply wrapped parcel between his talons. He dropped it in front of Harry, watching him for a moment before going to rest beside Draco, cross for some reason (probably because they didn’t have any treats for him). 

Harry looked to Luna then Draco, both watching him expectantly. He reached out to grab the parcel, but stopped before he could. He could feel magic radiating from the gift, familiar and dark and breathtaking. “What did you two do?”

Neither answered him, just nodded for him to open it already. Just reaching out and touching the thing sent shivers down his back, Harry was honestly afraid that if he opened it he would pass out. He opened it anyway, of course. Undoing the string that kept the loose paper around the gift, Harry could feel the gears and cogs in his head grind to a halt when he saw the soft black leather, the thick cream pages. The dark, rich magic so thick it was almost visible. He picked up the journal, feeling natural and necessary in his hand. He felt like he couldn't breath. 

“Star, Swan,” Harry breathed, holding the journal close to his chest. “I don’t. I can’t-”

“We know, Harry,” Luna smiled at him, rubbing his back before standing, “We should go. You stay. I hope you enjoy your gift.”

Harry nodded, saying goodbye to the both as they left. Soon the room was empty, save him, the diary and Basil. Basil poked his nose out of Harry’s sleeve, investigating the dark feeling radiating from the diary before shrinking back, overwhelmed. Harry couldn’t hear what he was hissing through his robes, but he could faintly feel it behind the layers of tunnel vision. He spent a long time just sitting there, trying desperately to function long enough to do something, anything. But all he could do was stare down at the very vessel of his Tom’s soul, perfect and beautiful and just how he always remembered it. He felt the Diary get hotter in his hands, not painful, not really, but almost comforting. Slowly, he lifted the diary to his chest, let the heat soak into his chest until he could breathe again, the scent of the pages making it so  _ very  _ worth it. 

He stayed like that until he heard voices coming towards the astronomy tower. He stood, if a bit wobbly, and slid himself neatly into one of the many crowded corners of the tower, close to the door and hidden from view. He watched 2 seventh years walk in with Professor Sinistra, talking amongst themselves about a recent something about the moon he didn’t particularly care about. Harry snuck back, making his way out the door while their attention was elsewhere, tucking the diary into robes and making his way to the dorms.


End file.
